I was talking to a friend recently about catching up and they had asked if we could grab a coffee. My next couple of weeks are quite busy, I’m actually a finalist in the Women in Business Awards and a few other things are happening, so I told them I’m a bit busy at the moment and we could catch up in a few weeks. The response was ‘Oh, It would be not to have a life.’
It’s funny, it made me think about the perception that someone might have about ‘Having a life!’ I was thinking the reason that I have a life because I created one!
It’s something I talk about a lot when I talk about how you ‘Define Your Inner Diva’. Your best life isn’t just going to fall in your lap without you doing anything about it. Therefore, in order to have a life you have to make plans about how you can create that life for yourself. We can’t just sit back passively and wait for whatever life throws at us and just deal with it.
I remember a conversation with my Mum years ago, when she was talking about having another partner, “He’s not going to just come knocking on the door!” You have to put yourself in a place where you are open to whatever the universe wants to present to you.
If you want to have a busy life you’re going to have to create that for yourself by making opportunities to connect with others. Connecting is ultimately what makes us feel happy and makes life feel worth living and enjoyable.
This idea that it would be nice to “Have a life” is interesting because it implies that you don’t believe you have control over whether or not you get to have a life. Yet the control you have over what your life ends up looking like is entirely up to you.
How you get to live the life you love has a lot to do with taking stock of where you are at, in terms of your own self-awareness about who you are, what you want, what your challenges are or what personality traits you have that might cause issues with other people. We all have them, there is no perfect human being.
It’s the part within you that says somewhere in there I still have ultimate control over my destiny and I can choose to have experiences that reflect who I want to be and how I want to live my life.
We need to stop believing that we don’t have ultimate control over our lives, because we do! Even when we are unhappy in certain situations, if we can look at the situation with a sense of self-reflection and awareness and you can figure out how to fix it. When you do that it makes a huge difference to how you feel about your sense of control over your life and moving forward.
That’s the part that makes you feel like you can actually really love your life. I love my life. I do have bad days and I do make mistakes, except mistakes are how we learn to understand ourselves. We can feel more comfortable with where we are at because we know we fought hard to get there and it wasn’t just handed to us.
You actually have to make some decisions and create that luscious life for yourself.
I recently went skydiving and it was one of those things on my 60 by 60 list and I loved it. I wasn’t really scared, I could’ve lined up and gone again straight away. That’s not because I’m a fearless person, it’s because it was something I really wanted to do. It was awesome to have that experience, free-falling with the wind around you with nothing between you and the elements, and then to have the parachute bring you down and to be able to see the world from a completely different perspective. It was fantastic! That opportunity didn’t just fall into my lap. I had to make the decision, and it was actually my third attempt, but I didn’t allow that to deter me. I did it because it was something I really wanted to do and I made it a priority. I didn’t wait for somebody to present my life to me at my front door.
I hope I have inspired you and helped understand how you can create the life that you love. Don’t sit there and wait for it to be given to you, create it.
See you soon.