I was reminded this week about judgment and why is it that we actually want to judge others. We look at what other people are doing and feel the need to put them down, put them in their place or make a judgement about something that they are doing.
The main reason that we do it is actually to feel better about ourselves.
When you notice, that you actually spend quite a bit of time critiquing other people, picking at certain things about how others behave, how they dress, the sort of car they drive or anything really about another person’s life – it is important to understand why we do that.
Who would do that? I wouldn’t do that!
It’s important to note that we need to use judgement in terms of working out what we want for ourselves. You can’t move forward in life without some level of judgment, because you’re trying to decide what’s good for you and how you’re going to get there and what is it that you really want for yourself.
When we use judgement to actually compare ourselves to another person and trying to elevate ourselves above them, in most cases, this is not actually useful. One of the things that’s important to understand is that when we are judging other people, we are doing it because there’s usually something about that person thats making us feel insecure, inadequate or it triggers something within our own negative belief system. We make ourselves feel better by looking at that person and denigrating what it is that they’re doing in order to elevate ourselves above them, making us feel better in comparison.
However it is actually about trying to get the feelings you have about yourself out, externalising them and projecting them onto somebody else, so that you don’t have to feel them. Instead you might wonder what it is about that person that makes you feel not good or inadequate. What is it that they are triggering within you because theres something about them that makes you feel threatened, inadequate or compared in some way.
So I want you to think about this the next time that you observe somebody, in your workplace, some other area of your life, or just a random stranger in the street and you notice that you feel the need to pass judgment on them I want you to stop and actually think “what is it about that person that makes me feel not so good about myself,” I want you to examine that and actually take a little bit of time to understand it, and if it’s something that’s been with you for a really long time then I would absolutely encourage you to try and get some therapy around that issue and try to resolve it for yourself.
Life is so much nicer and it is much more enjoyable to spend your life hanging around with great people, without feeling the need to judge them, or being judged by them.
If you stop and think about the process in reverse. If people are judging you, they are doing it to make themselves feel better their judgment of you is not really fair. Their judgement of you is based on their own feelings of inadequacy. In reality, they should be pitied for their need to constantly criticise others.
A great quote I have always loved “Your opinion of me… Is none of my business”.
I hope that was insightful… Until next time Gorgeous…